We all see celebrities, actresses, beauty bloggers and Kardashians posting no makeup selfies. The #ijustwokeuplikethis candid shot. A genuine look underneath at all the time and effort that goes into looking beautiful. Some still look stunning and others absolutely hideous. But in a weird way, it makes that person more relatable. Every blemish and flaw is exposed. They are more normal.
Over the last year, I’ve been wanting to host a home tour that was a bit out of the ordinary. Something authentic. A real glimpse behind the curtain of Instagram and into the everyday life of the home decor blogger. When not every pillow is perfectly karate chopped and not every bed is made. After months of planning, I threw it out there thinking for sure this would take convincing. But I sent out an email anyway, asking a few of my bloggery besties to join me, crossed my fingers, and hoped for the best. Much to my surprise, an incredibly talented group (all listed below…please go visit their home tours as well) stepped forward ready to bear it all. Welcome to the No Makeup Home Tour.
As I sit here writing this post from bed at 1:14 am, I’m waiting for the next round of vomit from my son. Yup, we’re getting real immediately. House Of Hipsters has the flu. I figure I have about 90 minutes before he wakes up again, so let’s get crackin’!
Because I live with an OCD German, my home is usually very surface clean. If there’s clutter, The Boy gets itchy, but there’s a catch…let me share the story his mother loves to tell. Years ago, when The Boy was asked to clean his room, he’d take everything, shove it into his closet and close the door. His mother would open said closet and everything would come crashing down on her. He’s a chucker. If you visit our home, do not open drawers or closets. You may get buried alive. And a word to the wise, if you have an important document or favorite pen, don’t leave it out. It will be chucked into the abyss.
The dining room is pretty much spotless all the time because its main reason for existence is to look pretty. I have grand illusions to host fancy dinner parties with fancy friends sipping fancy drinks in this space. Someday when I can stay up past 9 pm without a child puking, maybe that’ll happen. At that time I’ll probably be an old granny with a walker jamming to Snoop Dogg…but mark my words.
I’ve been contemplating painting or wallpapering this space…above the molding. And now that I’m unemployed, I really need to sand and wax that table. No room for excuses. I did finally hang the sconces from the Paris flea though…well, The Boy hung them, and I supervised. It’s what I do best.
Recently a few changes were made on the fly. A glam AF console was put under the blue lady and the rug made a disappearing act. Ever since I returned from the design summit, I’ve been inspired to warm up the color palette in the house. I’m presently in search of a tattered old Persian with terra cotta, pinks, and taupe…dare I say mauve? If you spy one, let a gal know, will ya?
I swapped out the light blue portrait over the bar cart for that Parisian nudie patootie in warmer tones.
The chunks of the frame are still sitting in the cup holder of my car, and one day I will get crafty and put Ms. Humpty Dumpty back together again. Those missing chunks did get me one heck of a deal on this beauty though.
The bar cart styling was dismantled…again and now it sits until I get a few hours to play.
My present project is figuring out how to “pop” my most recent estate sale score, the Rosenthal glasses (in the original boxes), in my great-grandmother’s china cabinet. There’s 62 total and there are 5 different sizes. They are so good, but that dark wood combo’d with the smokey base of the glass hides their beauty. I’m also figuring out the bottom shelf…BTDubs, what it is about bottom shelves that are so confusing to style? You’ll see my built-ins have the same bottom shelf issue.
Even though my grandmother gave me this piece, I’m not really attached to this china cabinet, so painting it is totally an option. Yes, those are office folders lining it. Because paint is permanent, that’s just me just testing the waters. Next step baby step is painting poster board in different shades to see what works best. If it looks acceptable, I’ll probably just tape the poster board to line it.
Side note, I recently found out my grandfather gave this hutch to my grandmother (it belonged to his mother, my great grandmother). My grandmother was apparently not a fan of her mother-in-law, so she shoved it in the attic until she found her perfect moment to off it. “Kyla, I didn’t know you collected antiques.” She must have evil laughed in her head all the way home that day.
How many of you have children who think your home is clothing optional? Both of mine run around in undies only. I sometimes wonder why I even buy them clothes.
The kitchen was a flip by the former owners. A quick cosmetic fix. The look is okay, but it’s not really my jam. The backsplash is super busy chrome, white and black tile. The countertops pitted. The island cabinetry doesn’t match…and not just because it’s black, but it was never replaced. And painted (poorly). The double oven is on its last legs and the stovetop, ya, it has a piece of tape for the exhaust fan that sometimes raises up out of the island…sometimes not. The original ho-hum pendant lighting still hangs above the tulip table and island. One day…one day I will make it fabulous.
As I was walking through slabs of Cambria quartz countertops last week, I started to dream of waterfall islands and fields of white counter space. Pretty new pulls and one killer tile job for a backsplash.
And yes, that corner is filled with bread and fruit and tomatoes, avocados, and sweet potatoes. I also spy some garlic, a frying pan, a coffee mug from Pinewood Social and Alexa. (We have the Alexa show that flips through old photos and posts trending stories. I love it.) Where on earth do you store your produce? Seriously, in every Pinterest kitchen I see, there’s no corner like this. Where’s the friggin’ food that can’t go in the frig? All I see is a bowl of lemons. That’s not real.
Let’s head into the living room, shall we? Right around the corner, we have the wet bar in the living room. When we renovated Potty Paradise, I almost had Gerry rip it out. But then came summer, and now I couldn’t imagine living without it. Neighbors come over and I put the drinks there. Prep food. It’s nothing fancy to look at…again, one day. Maybe when I win the lottery. This space also is great storage for all sorts of pink crafts for the naked one.
The built-ins are a dream come true yet the bane of my existence. I can’t even tell you how my countless hours I’ve spent styling them. Palm to forehead.
On the floor, below this shelf is a secret stash of shelfie props.
Painting that brick fireplace is something I’ve toyed with. But like I said before, paint is pretty permanent. It isn’t a hideous color, yet, I just feel like the dark weighs the space down. To paint or not paint? I’m taking an impromptu poll right here. What do you think?
While you mull that over, the naked one is going to do what she does best. Play spin the chairs.
Most everyone who’s been here before knows about my One Room Challenge from last year…better known as Potty Paradise. This powder room packs a punch with its bold wallpaper. I wanted it to be like a jewelry box when you opened the door…so pretty that when you walk in, you forget to pee. One day I’ll caulk that ceiling medallion.
Onward to the Design Off living room to see what’s been changed, shall we?
The biggest switcheroo here is the Milo Baughman chairs from the Savoy Flea. The day she found them, I knew they’d be mine…eventually. At the time, I was grounded from chairs, so I had to wait it out until the coast was clear. The Horchow head planter was scored at an estate sale not too long ago. Although, I’m not sure if I’m sold on her…maybe more pampas grass?
The art in the original makeover was amazing, but I thought this particular wall needed something larger in scale. Again, estate sale purchase to the rescue.
Wahoo! We’ve made it through the main floor. Have you got the second floor and basement in you? Come on! The last one up the stairs is a rotten egg!
The hallway has taken on this Parisian chic look and feel. I blame my recent trip and Maison Souquet.
Let’s be like MTV Cribs (anyone else miss that show?) and start in the bedroom…cuz, you know, it’s where the magic happens. Ya baby, you know what I’m talking about…a whole 7 hours of blissful sleep if you’re lucky. Am I right?
This is the one room where the decor didn’t really change when we moved from the old home. And yes, our bed is made daily courtesy of The Boy. I try to make it, but get distracted…ohhhh look! A chicken! The ceiling medallion was installed not too long ago, and ever since, I’ve wanted to rehaul the entire room.
Check out that superior nightstand styling. All-day erry day this is it. I’ve got my plantar fascitis ball to roll my sore feet, a Kelly Wearstler book I flip through when I’m in need of some inspo, the best foot cream on the planet, Stress Fix hand lotion and iPad.
Until I makeover the master, this dresser and the shadeless lamp will sit here…waiting patiently.
The ensuite is a space where the former owners had a hay day. Palatial Greek pillars…I mean, yes, of course, pillars belong in the bathroom.
Why on earth are those sconces hung so high??? The sinks are in the shape of a shell, and the difference between his and hers sides is that The Boy’s is immaculate, and mine is covered in product. And of course, I have to have a brass chippendale vintage chair to blow dry my hair, I mean, who doesn’t, am I right? Treat yo self!
When we moved in, this bathroom was covered in blue toile wallpaper and dark wood. We ripped it all down and painted it white. Ceiling to floor. Again, Cambria dreaming here, but can you imagine? A beautiful pendant centered over a stand-alone tub and the walk-in shower (not pictured) covered in quartz? Clutch the freakin’ pearls!
At this point though, I’d be happy with hooks. Presently, I’m hookless so robes and towels are strewn about.
When leaving the master, there is this strange sitting area that we use to hide from the children. When one of us needs a break…a minute of solace…yup, this is the spot. Pay no attention to those curtain rods peeking out from the sofa.
That gets us to my home office. It’s yet another work in progress, but basically, I’m filling it up with all my favorite things. If I’m going to spend all day here, it has to have the best view.
I’m still trying to figure out that rug sich, but it’s getting better.
Everything is looking pretty perfect, right? That is until I turn the camera to this:
GASP!!!!!! HOARDER!!!!!! HOARDER!!!!!! HOARDER!!!!!! This here is what happens when you open an online vintage shop without a brick and mortar to hide your stash. I swear there is a system, but it needs to be organized better. The other day I spent over 4 hours looking for a marble owl I had to ship out. SMH.
The last two rooms up here are the guest bath and bedroom.
This wallpaper. It’s a dilemma. Part of me thinks it’s cool. Another part of my thinks oh lawdy! And how about those fancy blue fluffy curtains? Awe ya! It’s one sexy beast of a room. This was the old master bath prior to the edition the former owners added. Tender loving care is what it needs…again…someday.
Ahhhh, the guest room. the room that The Boy likes to say smells like sweaty old Czech men with twirled mustaches who lift weights. Ummmm, pardon? See that leather headboard? Yup, that’s what he’s referencing. Let me explain.
It arrived by USPS and is the reason my mailman hates me. It weighs approximately 150 pounds and was shipped here from Prague. The leather, well, smells leathery, but in an old sweaty man kinda way. I’m really sellin’ ya on spending the night here, aren’t I?
Can we briefly chat Pinterest linens? You know what I’m talking about. They’re perfectly imperfect. Mismatched, wrinkly, and amazing. They make you want to drink a fancy coffee in bed, read Kinfolk magazine, and take an overhead shot of your appendages wearing fancy socks. I haven’t mastered any of this yet, but I am getting a bit closer.
Yowza! You made it through, and now it’s time to head off to the other tours! I’m on my way to check them out too.