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What I’d Tell My Younger Self

September 13, 2017

Lately, I’ve been reflecting back on my younger years. Teenage years as a rebel girl. College years as a snotty know it all sorority, cheerleader girl. In my 20s when I thought I could see my clear path in life. Now I laugh, shake my head and think if I only I could see into the future. Nothing is really what I thought it would be, yet it’s everything I hoped it to be. If I had the chance to go back and whisper sweet nothings in my younger years’ ear, this is what I’d say.

What I'd tell my younger self.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: Go to the doctor once a year for a physical. Stop going to the tanning bed. Don’t smoke because quitting is the hardest thing you’ll ever endure. Eat your vegetables. Respect yourself. Never stop learning. Don’t watch so much TV.

FIND “ME” TIME: When you have a husband, kids, and a job, you no longer have “me” time whenever you want it. Relish in it. Don’t fill up your day with endless errands. Relax. Find time to breathe. Sit down. Read a book. Go for a walk.  Enjoy nature. Go out to dinner by yourself.

 

YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE: Think about the decisions you’re making and how they might impact your future. Whatever decision you make, you can always change your mind if you are not happy. Take some time to re-evaluate after a month and know it’s ok to walk away from bad habits, bad situations, and bad relationships.

DON’T FIND A HUSBAND UNTIL AFTER 30: Go on dates, but don’t set your sights on searching for “the one” until after 30. Focus on you and your life. You don’t need a spouse and kids to make your life complete at 25.

 

NOT ALL FRIENDSHIPS LAST: Not all friendships will stand the test of time. The BFF from high school will be a happy memory throughout your college years. The childhood bond you once had with your bridesmaids will fizzle. Life is full of speed bumps and relationships change. It’s part of life. Some may cut like a knife and some might feel like a complete sigh of relief. Always remember, friendship is valuable and never one-sided. Being respectful goes both ways. Kindness is key.

 

DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF: I’m incredibly thankful I did not grow up with social media, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t compare myself to my peers. She has a better shirt, better hair, a better car, more money, she’s skinnier, a better job, makes more money, a bigger house, prettier furniture…the list goes on. Thinking these things will only cause negativity in your life. Be happy with who you are because you’ve come a long way! And know, just because she looks like she has it all, doesn’t mean she does. Happiness is not reflective of “things”, and people rarely wear their struggles on their sleeve.

IT’S OKAY TO SAY NO: Wow, this was a hard one to learn. You don’t have to agree to be liked. You don’t owe anyone anything. Don’t ever feel obligated. Ultimately, you are the one affected by the decisions you make in life.

 

NOT EVERYONE WILL LIKE YOU: There will be some people who utterly despise you. Move on. Don’t worry about it. You are who you are. If someone doesn’t like it, screw ’em.

IT’S OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES: No one is perfect. But when you make a mistake, say hey, I messed up and forgive yourself. Forgive your parents. Forgive old friends. You don’t have all the answers, and you never will. Be direct. Be truthful. Try to take the best path. And when you make a mistake, don’t be too harsh on yourself. Get over it and get on with your life.

 

ALWAYS DO SOMETHING ARTISTIC: Explore your creativity. You’ll never know what’s hiding inside until you explore it. Continue to reshape and reinvent.

 

SPEAK UP: There’s nothing you’ll kick yourself moreover than not speaking up. If you have an idea in a meeting, speak up. If you feel like something’s not right, speak up. If you feel like you’re not being respected, speak up. If you want something, speak up. No one is there to take care of you except you. Stop smiling and nodding.

BE OPEN TO CHANGE: Change is inevitable. Change is good. Embrace it. When you open your mind to new ideas, you are giving yourself the opportunity to see a different view. It may reinforce your current belief, but it may open a whole new world.

 

LET GO OF CONTROL: You’re way may not be the best way. Open your mind and experience new ideas. You don’t know it all. You are not confined by your own beliefs. Focus on what matters. Live without limits.

TRAVEL AS MUCH AS YOU CAN: There’s a giant world out there. Explore it. Travel to different countries even if you don’t speak the language. Immerse yourself in culture.

TRY NEW THINGS: Don’t get stuck in a rut. Try pilates. Try different foods. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Yes, it may be scary, but you may just find a new hobby you love.

 

FIND BEAUTY IN THE DETAILS: Every day you’re surrounded by little miracles. Practice listening. Stop the mental chatter. Look around you and enjoy your surroundings. Street musicians, architecture, a flower, paint peeling from a chair. Put down your phone and be present.

 

IT’S OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP: Sometimes life can get overwhelming. It happens to the best of us. There’s no reason to work yourself into the ground. If you need a helping hand, ask for one, and always repay the favor.

At the ripe old age of 42, I don’t have all the answers. I don’t think anyone does…not even Beyoncé. But ever since I hit 38, I’ve been the most comfortable with myself. I’m curious at age 50 what I’ll want to say to myself now. What I wouldn’t give to see into the future.

 

If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour… you’re gonna see some serious shit. Always learning, ever grateful.

Read More Personal Musings

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TAGS:kindnesswise words
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Kyla Herbes

Kyla Herbes is an interior designer and home decor content creator based in Chicago. She shares daily doses of home decor, corners of her home, interior styling tips, and will inspire you to do it yourself. House Of Hipsters won Best Written Blog from the Amara Interior Blogger Awards and her home has been featured in Architectural Digest, Apartment Therapy, House Beautiful, HGTV, The Huffington Post, Refinery29, Rue Magazine, and Style Me Pretty Living. Kyla has also made appearances on BravoTV and WGN TV and was named a Better Homes and Gardens Style Maker 3 years in a row. Kyla sits on the Design Influencers Board Of Directors and was hired by TikTok to become a Creative Learning Partner. When she isn’t blogging or speaking about social media, you’ll find her scouring flea markets for vintage treasures or pushing furniture around her home.

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  • blank
    Katie Slonim
    September 13, 2017

    Blasphemy! Beyoncé knows everything.

    Reply
    • blank
      kyla
      Katie Slonim
      September 14, 2017

      LOL, you just made my day with this comment! She really is the queen!

      Reply
  • blank
    Ronee B.
    September 13, 2017

    Very wise words from an exceptionally insightful young woman…you’re going to be amazing at 50!

    Reply
    • blank
      kyla
      Ronee B.
      September 14, 2017

      Thanks Ronee =)

      Reply
  • blank
    LindaM
    September 14, 2017

    Everything is spot on for 50 too!

    Reply
    • blank
      kyla
      LindaM
      September 14, 2017

      Well hopefully that means I’m on the right path 😉

      Reply
      • blank
        LindaM
        kyla
        September 14, 2017

        I’m going to let my 15 yo daughter read this so she understands that her “big stuff” is not so big at her age and that making mistakes is really ok. Thx!

        Reply
        • blank
          kyla
          LindaM
          September 15, 2017

          Oh how I remember how the “big stuff” mattered at that age. Thank you for reading, and hopefully there’s not too much eye rolling from her 🙂

          Reply
  • blank
    Mandy
    September 14, 2017

    I’m in my 40s as well and have thought about the same things, what I’d tell my younger self. I think, read more, less boys. Exercise more, less tv. Learn to play the piano, not the trumpet (bc that’s what your dad wanted you to play….). Anyhow, 40s is a time to reflect I guess. I enjoyed reading your thoughts. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    • blank
      kyla
      Mandy
      September 14, 2017

      Totally agree! Why did I care more about the saxophone then the piano? WHY!!!

      Reply
  • blank
    Olivia
    September 14, 2017

    I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Agree with everything you said!

    Reply
    • blank
      kyla
      Olivia
      September 14, 2017

      When are you returning to Wisco?

      Reply
      • blank
        Olivia
        kyla
        September 14, 2017

        I am already here! 🙂 day 4 of employment…

        Reply

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Welcome to my little corner of the internet where I share daily doses of home decor, corners of my home, styling tips, and inspire you to decorate with me.

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I started decorating Zozo’s bedroom but never finished. Since, she’s decided she no longer likes pink. “Mom, can I get a blue bed?” @jcpenney helped me find a comprise that was not only blue but also affordable and very much this little lady’s bohemian’s style. The bedding and pillows are all from the new Distant Lands Collection. She’s obsessed with the tiger print pillow and the tassels. Side note, she is not a top sheet gal which I’ve been hearing more and more people talk about this. Do you sleep with a top sheet or no? Inquiring minds what to know. SPONSORED
I started decorating Zozo’s bedroom but never finished. Since, she’s decided she no longer likes pink. “Mom, can I get a blue bed?” @jcpenney helped me find a comprise that was not only blue but also affordable and very much this little lady’s bohemian’s style. The bedding and pillows are all from the new Distant Lands Collection. She’s obsessed with the tiger print pillow and the tassels. Side note, she is not a top sheet gal which I’ve been hearing more and more people talk about this. Do you sleep with a top sheet or no? Inquiring minds what to know. SPONSORED
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I started decorating Zozo’s bedroom but never finished. Since, she’s decided she no longer likes pink. “Mom, can I get a blue bed?” @jcpenney helped me find a comprise that was not only blue but also affordable and very much this little lady’s bohemian’s style. The bedding and pillows are all from the new Distant Lands Collection. She’s obsessed with the tiger print pillow and the tassels. Side note, she is not a top sheet gal which I’ve been hearing more and more people talk about this. Do you sleep with a top sheet or no? Inquiring minds what to know. SPONSORED
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SWIPE 👆🏻 Finally loving the living room again. Although I’m still missing the built ins. I shopped the @serenaandlily sale for that tray and blanket - there’s a whole round up of favorites over on HouseOfHipsters.com - and I love how the blanket balances out the green chair and the tray softens the black coffee table. What do you think of the new look? #liketkit #LTKhome #LTKsalealert @shop.ltk https://liketk.it/3G7VE
SWIPE 👆🏻 Finally loving the living room again. Although I’m still missing the built ins. I shopped the @serenaandlily sale for that tray and blanket - there’s a whole round up of favorites over on HouseOfHipsters.com - and I love how the blanket balances out the green chair and the tray softens the black coffee table. What do you think of the new look? #liketkit #LTKhome #LTKsalealert @shop.ltk https://liketk.it/3G7VE
SWIPE 👆🏻 Finally loving the living room again. Although I’m still missing the built ins. I shopped the @serenaandlily sale for that tray and blanket - there’s a whole round up of favorites over on HouseOfHipsters.com - and I love how the blanket balances out the green chair and the tray softens the black coffee table. What do you think of the new look? #liketkit #LTKhome #LTKsalealert @shop.ltk https://liketk.it/3G7VE
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SWIPE 👆🏻 Finally loving the living room again. Although I’m still missing the built ins. I shopped the @serenaandlily sale for that tray and blanket - there’s a whole round up of favorites over on HouseOfHipsters.com - and I love how the blanket balances out the green chair and the tray softens the black coffee table. What do you think of the new look? #liketkit #LTKhome #LTKsalealert @shop.ltk https://liketk.it/3G7VE
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(AD) SWIPE FOR ROOM REFRESH 👉🏻 If you’ve been watching Stories that you know I’ve been working hard on this room and I gotta give a shoutout to @JaipurLiving for the new rug in their #KLwithJaipurLiving collection. This is Davina from their new collection with Kate Lester @klinteriors and it really brightened up the entire space. Although they recently showed this one with Harman layered over the top and it’s absolutely dreamy. If you haven’t seen the full collection, head over to their profile and check it out or tap the link below to shop the collection on @rugs_direct. While your there, give them a follow and tell ‘em I say hi. http://bit.ly/3tZgE8p
(AD) SWIPE FOR ROOM REFRESH 👉🏻 If you’ve been watching Stories that you know I’ve been working hard on this room and I gotta give a shoutout to @JaipurLiving for the new rug in their #KLwithJaipurLiving collection. This is Davina from their new collection with Kate Lester @klinteriors and it really brightened up the entire space. Although they recently showed this one with Harman layered over the top and it’s absolutely dreamy. If you haven’t seen the full collection, head over to their profile and check it out or tap the link below to shop the collection on @rugs_direct. While your there, give them a follow and tell ‘em I say hi. http://bit.ly/3tZgE8p
(AD) SWIPE FOR ROOM REFRESH 👉🏻 If you’ve been watching Stories that you know I’ve been working hard on this room and I gotta give a shoutout to @JaipurLiving for the new rug in their #KLwithJaipurLiving collection. This is Davina from their new collection with Kate Lester @klinteriors and it really brightened up the entire space. Although they recently showed this one with Harman layered over the top and it’s absolutely dreamy. If you haven’t seen the full collection, head over to their profile and check it out or tap the link below to shop the collection on @rugs_direct. While your there, give them a follow and tell ‘em I say hi. http://bit.ly/3tZgE8p
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(AD) SWIPE FOR ROOM REFRESH 👉🏻 If you’ve been watching Stories that you know I’ve been working hard on this room and I gotta give a shoutout to @JaipurLiving for the new rug in their #KLwithJaipurLiving collection. This is Davina from their new collection with Kate Lester @klinteriors and it really brightened up the entire space. Although they recently showed this one with Harman layered over the top and it’s absolutely dreamy. If you haven’t seen the full collection, head over to their profile and check it out or tap the link below to shop the collection on @rugs_direct. While your there, give them a follow and tell ‘em I say hi. http://bit.ly/3tZgE8p
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I started decorating Zozo’s bedroom but never finished. Since, she’s decided she no longer likes pink. “Mom, can I get a blue bed?” @jcpenney helped me find a comprise that was not only blue but also affordable and very much this little lady’s bohemian’s style. The bedding and pillows are all from the new Distant Lands Collection. She’s obsessed with the tiger print pillow and the tassels. Side note, she is not a top sheet gal which I’ve been hearing more and more people talk about this. Do you sleep with a top sheet or no? Inquiring minds what to know. SPONSORED
I started decorating Zozo’s bedroom but never finished. Since, she’s decided she no longer likes pink. “Mom, can I get a blue bed?” @jcpenney helped me find a comprise that was not only blue but also affordable and very much this little lady’s bohemian’s style. The bedding and pillows are all from the new Distant Lands Collection. She’s obsessed with the tiger print pillow and the tassels. Side note, she is not a top sheet gal which I’ve been hearing more and more people talk about this. Do you sleep with a top sheet or no? Inquiring minds what to know. SPONSORED
houseofhipstersblog
houseofhipstersblog
•
Follow
I started decorating Zozo’s bedroom but never finished. Since, she’s decided she no longer likes pink. “Mom, can I get a blue bed?” @jcpenney helped me find a comprise that was not only blue but also affordable and very much this little lady’s bohemian’s style. The bedding and pillows are all from the new Distant Lands Collection. She’s obsessed with the tiger print pillow and the tassels. Side note, she is not a top sheet gal which I’ve been hearing more and more people talk about this. Do you sleep with a top sheet or no? Inquiring minds what to know. SPONSORED
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
1/4
SWIPE 👆🏻 Finally loving the living room again. Although I’m still missing the built ins. I shopped the @serenaandlily sale for that tray and blanket - there’s a whole round up of favorites over on HouseOfHipsters.com - and I love how the blanket balances out the green chair and the tray softens the black coffee table. What do you think of the new look? #liketkit #LTKhome #LTKsalealert @shop.ltk https://liketk.it/3G7VE
SWIPE 👆🏻 Finally loving the living room again. Although I’m still missing the built ins. I shopped the @serenaandlily sale for that tray and blanket - there’s a whole round up of favorites over on HouseOfHipsters.com - and I love how the blanket balances out the green chair and the tray softens the black coffee table. What do you think of the new look? #liketkit #LTKhome #LTKsalealert @shop.ltk https://liketk.it/3G7VE
SWIPE 👆🏻 Finally loving the living room again. Although I’m still missing the built ins. I shopped the @serenaandlily sale for that tray and blanket - there’s a whole round up of favorites over on HouseOfHipsters.com - and I love how the blanket balances out the green chair and the tray softens the black coffee table. What do you think of the new look? #liketkit #LTKhome #LTKsalealert @shop.ltk https://liketk.it/3G7VE
houseofhipstersblog
houseofhipstersblog
•
Follow
SWIPE 👆🏻 Finally loving the living room again. Although I’m still missing the built ins. I shopped the @serenaandlily sale for that tray and blanket - there’s a whole round up of favorites over on HouseOfHipsters.com - and I love how the blanket balances out the green chair and the tray softens the black coffee table. What do you think of the new look? #liketkit #LTKhome #LTKsalealert @shop.ltk https://liketk.it/3G7VE
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
Months worth of work with a dash of frustration in 12 seconds. It really is all about trusting the process.
houseofhipstersblog
houseofhipstersblog
•
Follow
Months worth of work with a dash of frustration in 12 seconds. It really is all about trusting the process.
2 months ago
View on Instagram |
3/4
(AD) SWIPE FOR ROOM REFRESH 👉🏻 If you’ve been watching Stories that you know I’ve been working hard on this room and I gotta give a shoutout to @JaipurLiving for the new rug in their #KLwithJaipurLiving collection. This is Davina from their new collection with Kate Lester @klinteriors and it really brightened up the entire space. Although they recently showed this one with Harman layered over the top and it’s absolutely dreamy. If you haven’t seen the full collection, head over to their profile and check it out or tap the link below to shop the collection on @rugs_direct. While your there, give them a follow and tell ‘em I say hi. http://bit.ly/3tZgE8p
(AD) SWIPE FOR ROOM REFRESH 👉🏻 If you’ve been watching Stories that you know I’ve been working hard on this room and I gotta give a shoutout to @JaipurLiving for the new rug in their #KLwithJaipurLiving collection. This is Davina from their new collection with Kate Lester @klinteriors and it really brightened up the entire space. Although they recently showed this one with Harman layered over the top and it’s absolutely dreamy. If you haven’t seen the full collection, head over to their profile and check it out or tap the link below to shop the collection on @rugs_direct. While your there, give them a follow and tell ‘em I say hi. http://bit.ly/3tZgE8p
(AD) SWIPE FOR ROOM REFRESH 👉🏻 If you’ve been watching Stories that you know I’ve been working hard on this room and I gotta give a shoutout to @JaipurLiving for the new rug in their #KLwithJaipurLiving collection. This is Davina from their new collection with Kate Lester @klinteriors and it really brightened up the entire space. Although they recently showed this one with Harman layered over the top and it’s absolutely dreamy. If you haven’t seen the full collection, head over to their profile and check it out or tap the link below to shop the collection on @rugs_direct. While your there, give them a follow and tell ‘em I say hi. http://bit.ly/3tZgE8p
houseofhipstersblog
houseofhipstersblog
•
Follow
(AD) SWIPE FOR ROOM REFRESH 👉🏻 If you’ve been watching Stories that you know I’ve been working hard on this room and I gotta give a shoutout to @JaipurLiving for the new rug in their #KLwithJaipurLiving collection. This is Davina from their new collection with Kate Lester @klinteriors and it really brightened up the entire space. Although they recently showed this one with Harman layered over the top and it’s absolutely dreamy. If you haven’t seen the full collection, head over to their profile and check it out or tap the link below to shop the collection on @rugs_direct. While your there, give them a follow and tell ‘em I say hi. http://bit.ly/3tZgE8p
2 months ago
View on Instagram |
4/4
@HouseOfHipsters
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